(Note: chaosKIDS is presently on hiatus. We are no longer taking new submissions for BIRP.)

We know it is important for you to extend your academic interests outside the classroom. That's why we created BIRP. BIRP (Best Independent Research Projects) is for serious students only. We believe students have a global responsibility to instruct as well as to learn. That's why we ask that you circulate these surveys in school and once they are completed, post them in a conspicuous location. (Your teacher's back may be a tad too conspicuous.) And look, boys and girls, at the wonderful variety of topics we have in store for you!

1. DUSTY BOOGERS - Things that live under my bed.

2. SLEEPOVER PRANKS WE WOULD NEVER CONSIDER

3. CAFETERIA FOOD S.U.C.K.S. (Slides under Clever Kids' Seats)
   As responsible citizens we don't believe in wasting food, do we?
   So here are some hints from the experts for things you can do with cafeteria food.

4. BARFORAMA - The coolest places to throw up.

5. HELLO! ANYONE HOME?
   Surefire ways to recognize when your teacher has lost their mind.

6. SORRY SO SLOPPY Share your most successful note passing techniques.

7. BITE ME BONZO and other polite expressions of your feelings.

8. MY PET IGUANA ATE IT
   All the amazing things that have happened and could happen to your homework.

9. THE MATING HABITS OF PERUVIAN LEECHES
   Just when you needed a topic for a report.

10. THE FUNNIEST MOVIE SCENE OF ALL TIME