chaosKIDS
B I R P
MY PET IGUANA ATE IT!

Believable excuses you can use for those rare occasions
when you have forgotten your homework.

  1. My mother took it to have it framed.

  2. I have radon poisoning.

  3. My brother stole it in a fit of sibling rivalry.

  4. I thought the assignment was uninspiring. I read Moby Dick instead.

  5. "You said do questions 1-10. You didn't say bring them in."

  6. You break a computer disk and say, "All of my homework was on this disk and I don't know what to do." (Teachers will go for it every time!)
    (Contributed by Brooke S.)

  7. I felt like doing the whole book on the bus ride home, so I did -- but after the first 116 pages, I got bus-sick and puked all over the workbook and all my homework! What a coincindence, eh? So I started an extra credit report about World War I & II in my car going back home after dinner and, lo and behold!, my clumsy little siblings all felt carsick and hurled all over it and the World War library book (that'll explain the School Library fine). And it was already too late to start another one, so my mom wrote me a note excusing me for not bringing in my homework. I was looking at it on the bus when Billy (or whoever), who was sitting next to me, felt really sick and guess what happened?! (Let your imagination run wild my furry footed friends).
    (Contributed by Wilson L.)

  8. When I just got home, my dog Sheba (or whatever your dog's name is) jumped on me and chewed it all up! (Contributed by Heather.)

  9. We ran out of toilet paper at my house last night, and my Dad isn't feeling so good.......He grabbed it in a big rush and I haven't seen it since....... (Contributed by Elizabeth S.)

  10. Say you had a fever. (Contributed by pearson.)

  11. I don't like you, I don't like your stupid assignments, and I don't like this school, so stop bugging me!!!
    (Contributed by alien).

  12. Your homework was against my religion.
    (Contributed by Denise D.)

  13. My hamster chewed it.
    (I told that to my art teacher one day and she did beleive me! But what was even more funny is I did not make it up! It ate half my burlap art project!)
    (Contributed by Denise D.)

  14. At 3:07 I got a phone call from the President. We got to talking about funding schools. I said "While we're speaking of schools, why don't I orally give you the answers to my homework so I won't waste trees because if I used the pencil and paper I would be DESTROYING LIFE! You've got to understand Mr. Pres., I mean we're putting trees on the line of extinction." So I gave my answers to him, but now I don't have the paper to give the answers to you because he asked me to mail it to him.
    (Contributed by Marcy K.)

  15. You see, Mr. Crabapple, I was looking forward to your Hitler-esque teaching style this morning, and I had all my homework ready to go. I set my books down next to my sister's college books. She picked mine up by mistake, and I picked hers up. So now she has my paper on The History Of Pizza, and I have her paper on Parapsychology Techniques. I could turn that one in, if you like. (Don't worry, the teacher will excuse it ;)
    (Contributed by Jennifer.)

  16. I had hockey,and then I had to drive my grandma to the airport!
    (Contributed by John C.)

  17. I forgot it in my Uncle Joe's car!
    (Contributed by John C.)

  18. Dear BIRP: MY IGUANA ATE MY HOMEWORK,
    Hilarious web page! I do have a contribution: I finished it and set it on the table next to a letter my mom wrote. She accidentally mailed my homework, and it's on it's way to Hoboken. (As a plus , bring in the letter in what you think looks like Chinese and pray the teacher didn't take Chinese in school.)
    (Signed, Son of Son of Flash.)

  19. My dog pooped on my homework.
    (Contributed by Maddie B.)

  20. I dropped it in the toilet!
    (Contributed by James B.)

  21. Here's a thought. Say "I forgot it!" The teacher might not get as mad at you because you told the truth! Works for me! Isn't that smart?
    (Contributed by Brandi.)

  22. I had just finished it on the computer when my sister came in with an axe and broke the computer so I couldn't turn it in because you said it had to be printed.
    (Contributed by Maria and Rhiannon.)

  23. My sister was making paper dolls last night and took my homework and tried to make a paper doll. She messed up and got mad at her deformed paper doll, so she put it through a paper shredder. Then she burned it and pooped on it.
    (Contributed by Gary N.)

  24. Ask the teacher, "Do you believe someone should be punished for something they didn't do?" If she/he says no, say, "Well, in that case, I didn't do my homework."
    (Contributed by Carlie.)

  25. When your teacher asks you for your homework, start telling a long, detailed story with a complicated plot. She/He will stop you, saying, "Yes, dear, that's nice." and they'll forget what they wanted from you.
    (Contributed by Carlie.)

  26. Before she/he gets to you, start fishing through your notebook wildly, saying stuff like, "Oh no!" or, "Great!". Then when your teacher gets to you, look up at them with sad puppy dog eyes, and say, "It's not in my folder or anything!" They'll feel guilty, and tell you to bring it in the next day.
    (Contributed by Carlie.)

  27. You see, Ms. Teacher, I did my homework, but (there's always a but) I was in such a hurry leaving for school that I brushed by it on the table. It fell to the floor and my dog picked it up. The dog went to the toilet and dropped it there. It was flushed and an alligator ate it. The alligator was caught and made into a wallet. The wallet was stolen and emptied and thrown to the ground. A vagrant took it but someone set him on fire and he was reduced to ashes along with the wallet containing my homework. This crappy cafeteria food is made from vagrant ashes and last period at lunch you ate my homework. I find you to blame, Ms. Teacher. You!
    (Contributed by Rachel.)

  28. "Dear teacher,
    I swear, i was about to do my homework!!!! But, ya see, I was about to type it up when...well, I've never told you this, but I'm a secret agent...so, anyway, I got a call from my boss, and there was a homicidal attempt, so I had to stop everything to save the dude. And another thing, it was in Hawaii so I'm just hangin' out here in Hawaii, so I won't be in school for about a month.
    From,
    Your best student "
    (Contributed by alien.)

  29. Tell her you were out of toilet paper, and it was the only thing you could reach.
    (Contributed by Spooky.)

  30. This works wonders if you don't have your homework done. Tell the teacher it is in your locker. While at your locker, do/finish it. Works every time!
    (Contributed by Kyle A.)

  31. "I didn't think that there was any point to it".
    Wait, well, then maybe it'd send you to detention...
    "Uh.. wait, then forget what I just said.. nevermind."
    (Contributed by Natalie L.)

  32. It is actually quite simple. All you need is a match and your "homework". Burn a good 3/4 of it and then write what seems to be a good start to your homework. Say that your grandmother was over for dinner and she put her cigarette butt down on it. Then tell the teacher that your grandmother is 82 years old. Works -- I swear. I have done it numerous times on long term assignments.
    (Contributed by Mantis.)

  33. It died like my sister's giga pet.
    (Contributed by Michael P.)

  34. Just say that you were driving around with the windows down and it flew out the window (only works in the summer and spring).
    (Contributed by whoever).

  35. "WHAT HOMEWORK?!?!?!?!?!?"
    (Contributed by Alberto S..)

  36. Say "It's in my locker, can I go get it?" When they let you go get it, you can as quickly as possible do your homework. And if you feel guilty about lying, put it in your locker and take it out, then you won't be lying about it being in your locker.
    (Contributed by Chris.)

  37. I typed it and before I could print it my computer dog ate it. I did it over. Then it got lost in cyberspace. Then my mom told me I had to go to bed. And my alarm clock didn't go off either.
    (Contributed by Karen B.)

  38. My printer broke.
    (Contributed by emily.)

  39. Um........Tell the teacher that you were cleaning out your desk this morning and you accidentally threw it away: "So I was digging through the trash, can you believe it? THE TRASH! And then it was time for math (or whatever your homeroom teacher teaches) and she told me I could get it later. Then the janitor came and emptied the garbage so eventually it will be in the city dump and I am not digging through that!"
    (Contributed by Cheez.)

  40. My computer broke. I wrote it out and my dad SPILLED COFFEE ALL OVER my homework.
    (Contributed by Derik.)

  41. My dad sneezed on it and then put it on the floor for the dog to pee on.
    (Contributed by Jason.)

  42. Before the teacher starts collecting the work say you hafta go to the bathroom. While in there, take out a piece of paper and scribble on it so it looks like something WAS written there. Then get it wet (NOT TOO WET!) and when you get back to class say, "Well, you see Mr.Slavedriver, I just got a new dog, and -- well, um, he's still only paper trained! He doesn't go outside yet!" (Make sure you have a really embarrassed look on your face.)
    (Contributed by AtomiX.)

  43. My cat ate it, then my dog ate my cat.
    (Contributed by Mike S.)

  44. Three days with that period are needed for this.
    Day 1: Pretend to be disappointed with yourself and say you just didn't do it.
    Day 2: Pretend to have trouble with your computer at home and when your parent is out of the room, play some computer games. Later say "My word processor isn't working and if I don't have it tommorow I'll get a zero. Can you please write me a note?"
    Day 3: Make sure it's the last day you have this period for the week. Say your word processor still isn't working so you need to start over by hand.
    (Contributed by Devin.)

  45. My family got robbed and they took all our food and we had to eat it!
    (Contributed by Dan.)

  46. I actually convinced a teacher that I turned it in with everyone else and that HE lost it. (It took a little, but I convinced him.)
    (Contributed by Roger.)

  47. Give your teacher a handful of torn up paper and say "You see I did my homework but my little brother got a Magic School Bus book about recycling used paper and this was the only used paper he could find. Mom caught him but he already tore it up."
    (Contributed by Hawk9.)

  48. My cousin thought it was a candybar and ate it. I made an excuse to my teacher that my cat ate it.
    (Contributed by Kathleen.)

  49. My computer had a virus .... and so did my pens, pencils, and paper, and calculator, etc. ...
    (Contributed by Mark.)

  50. tell my mom i dont have any and i never get grounded.
    [just had to rewrite the grades on my report card.]
    (Contributed by chefbill.)

  51. Spaceman Spiff landed in my backyard and took my homework as an example of human culture!
    (Contributed by Rachel G.)

  52. Teacher: Where's your homework, young man?
    Student: What homework?
    Teacher: The homework you did last night!
    Student: Oh, that homework! I didn't do it!
    Teacher: Write a 50 page essay on why you can't do your homework!
                  Then write 50 pages worth of the letters S&A and turn it in!
    (Contributed by cat.)

  53. this really works ok. tell your teacher that you had to go to work with your mom and you did your homework there and then tell him/her that you forgot it there and that you called your mom's secretary and told her to fax it to you but she typed in the wrong fax number and there was no way to get it back. you could also follow it up with a printed note from the secretary that you really wrote. it really works too.
    (Contributed by Aqualex.)

  54. I was watching T.V. with all my homework done, and somehow that blasted dog got ahold of it. Ripped it all up. I said stop, but no, he wouldn't stop.
    (Contributed by Markie S.)

  55. To cat on Homework (see #52): What is S&A by the way???
    (Contributed by Markie S.)

  56. If your teacher talks about 'the good ole days' a lot, then you know they grew up during the Cold War era (You can also count the wrinkles around their eyes. Any amount over eight indicates a genuine baby boomer. Either that or your teacher's really stressed and you shouldn't push them over the edge by not doing your homework, you might get taken with them against your will). Tell them you didn't do your homework because that would be contributing support to their communist regime. Not only will the teacher blabber on and on for the rest of class about the evils of Stalin, they'll never assign homework again because they won't want to be mistaken for a 'diry red b@stard'.
    (Contributed by Carolyn.)

  57. I was tied up on the phone till midnight.
    (Contributed by Max C.)

  58. I was out partying with my friends.
    (Contributed by Max C.)

  59. I drank one too many six packs.
    (Contributed by Max C.)

  60. I couldn't miss the Simpsons.
    (Contributed by Max C.)

  61. I almost lost my virginity last night.
    (Contributed by Max C.)

  62. I'm just plain bored with this crap. (Contributed by Max C.)

  63. I fell and couldn't get up.
    (Contributed by Max C.)

  64. I worked until South Park;.
    (Contributed by Max C.)

  65. An old relative came for a visit.
    (Contributed by Max C.)

  66. I felt sick.
    (Contributed by Max C.)

  67. My turtle needs newspaper for her body's needs, and we had no newspaper....but I guess you know the rest.
    (Contributed by NewPranks.)

  68. Ask the teacher if your folder for that subject has turned up in her room by any chance (when you know full well where it is). When she says no, look really worried and explain that all your homework is in there -- does he/she know where it could be? This is really good because it can last as long as you want it to -- I've kept it going for up to half a year. -- If you're told that the teacher will be taking in folders in, say, a week, ask if she's seen your folder THE NEXT DAY. This way, it is not so obviously an excuse.
    (Contributed by Sarah.)

  69. The simple version of this one is 'I left it at home', but I find it helps to add in as many details as possible. For example, this is, more-or-less, what I (successfully) used on my Science teacher a few years ago: "OK. I was working on it in my room, because our dining room is a total mess. I don't have a desk in there so I had to do it on the floor. Anyway, when I finished it, it was late, so I just went straight to bed, without packing up my homework like I usually do, because I was right there in my room. But the next day, because I'm used to my work already being in my bag, I just left. So now all my homework is sitting on my floor. Is it OK if I bring it in tomorrow?" I find it helpful to laugh at my own stupidity, it makes it more convincing.
    (Contributed by Sarah.)

  70. Go for sympathy. This one only works if you have divorced parents, whose houses you go back and forth between. "I left it at Mum's/Dad's house when I went back to (whichever one you didn't say before)." I love this one because the teacher automatically feels sorry for me and lets me off.
    (Contributed by Sarah.)

  71. Another variation to leaving it at home is then asking if you can ring your parent at home to see if they can bring it in. If you know there is no one home, then ring there. Otherwise, ring anything, like a Talking Clock or something. Then tell the teacher no one was there.
    (Contributed by Sarah.)

  72. I'm very disorganised so getting out of handing in work has become an art form for me. Twice, I have co-ordinated my day to get out of a Geography period. These aren't excuses, but they might help, so here is how I did it. I started planning the night before, by settingÊmyself up in bed to look likeÊI was sick. This way, when my dad came in the next morning, my claim of feeling sick was much more convincing. I had a timetable beside my bed, and figured out the best time to ask to go back to school. That way, I got all the homework I missed out on, and kept up my image as organised and responsible.
    (Contributed by Sarah.)

  73. The other time, I didn't leave school. We had Geography second, so in first period I asked to go to Sick Bay -- that way I didn't have to also convince my parents. It was boring, but I had a watch and a timetable there, and kept track of the bells, and I left Sick Bay around the start of Interval (like Recess). I only missed 3 classes, and I didn't miss any homework, so once again I retained my good reputation.
    (Contributed by Sarah.)

  74. To prove how well those last 2 worked on my Geography teacher - the one time I didn't hand something in, and had no excuse, she came to me the next day, and asked if I had handed it in, but she thought maybe she'd lost it since she knew I was so reliable (which I'm not). I told her, sorry, no, my Mum had an eye infection and no car, so there was no way she could get the homework (which I'd left at her house) to me. This was actually true, or it would have been, had I actually done the homework at all, let alone left it at Mum's house. (She really did have an eye infection though, and she has no car.)
    (Contributed by Sarah.)

  75. And finally .... any excuse relating to computers is good, as long as it could happen -- e.g. a virus, the computer stuffed up, the printer ran out of ink, etc. Use as many complicated terms as possible to confuse them. This one is best used on older teachers who know nothing about computers.

    Well that's it from me but one word of warning. These have worked, but I go to a school I've been at for 11 years (since I was 4, I've been there considerably longer than most of the staff, our extremely upper-class headmistress likes me -- especially since my best subject was her best subject, I usually DO hand things in on time, and when I hand them in I try to have them up to the highest standard possible. I know that all sounded like a gloat but it wasn't -- just a warning.
    (Contributed by Sarah.)

  76. You see, i did do it but my sister ate it. She eats paper ya know. And my mom told me i shoudn't do homework anyway, cause my sister will eat it.
    (Contributed by Rachel G.)

  77. One great excuse to use if you didn't do your homework is: First make a phone call to your teach, and say- "Uh teach, (make sure you sound out of breath and worried), did you collect homework yet?" When they reply, "Well, I'm not gonna be in school today, because I'm having some trouble at home!" When the teacher says 'how so' or something, say you see there's this giant pillow, and well my sister, see she's a witch, and she put a curse on this pillow and it came to life and er it kinda started attacking my homework, and uh, now it's coming for meEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!! Then scream, and drop the phone, leaving your teacher wondering!!! It also works when getting out of going to school!
    (Contributed by the Master of Excuses.)

  78. My house burned down!!!!!
    (Contributed by Jennings.)

  79. Well, lemme ask you a question Teach, have you ever forgotton anything extremely important - (let them try and remember) and say "Well hey, there's a first time for everything huh?" (Emphasize the extremely important bit!) If that doesn't work - nobody's god@mn perfect!
    (Contributed by *~Dookie~*.)

  80. My dog ate it, then he went out to fetch the paper, and then go run over by an ice-cream van. The vet couldn't save him and he was put down, now I have lost my homework and my dog. *burst into tears and run out of the door.*
    (Contributed by Lewis.)

  81. here's all i got: say this: "First my computer got overloaded with all this stupid 'Homework Info' (or just say that your computer is broken) then I couldn't write it by hand, because my pencil was eaten by my pet beaver." 'den make a run for it.
    (Contributed by Teric.)

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